I’m not gonna kid you & tell you there’s a magical 7-step program to get over your ex. At least for me it didn’t work out that way.
At the time, I hoped and searched for a quick out. I didn’t find one, I actually took a little bit of everything and found that’s what worked for me. Sure, there’s a process, but it doesn’t always come wrapped up in a bow. Sometimes you’ll feel angry, sometimes numb, other times sad and want to bargain with them or with your higher power. It’s a lot like grief. I’m gonna share my process with you because it’s helped other women and I know it’ll help you find your own way too. I’ve found that each woman has her own way of tapping into her intuition, her own way of creating and manifesting and definitely her own way of getting through the chapter of the ex. My work just provides you the structure, like a riverbank, to your ever-flowing body of thoughts, emotion & spirit.
First nugget–It’s Ok to start before you’re ready. You don’t have to wait to move on with your life until you are fully over them. For some people, it’s in the moving on that they finally feel the closure. This doesn’t mean go and start a zillion relationships if you aren’t ready…..(guilty)….but it does mean give yourself permission to start slow….but START.
Mantra “It’s safe for me to move forward.”
Second Nugget-Stop worrying if you will make another mistake with someone else. Or that you might choose someone who isn’t good for you. Instead ask, “How can I choose more love this time?” Or “How can I develop more trust within myself?” We are human. We make “mistakes.” It’s easy to look with hindsight and say, “Damn, I shoulda……” I heard a saying once…..”You learn from life by looking back, but you live your life by moving forward”
Mantra, “Every step I take leads me towards love”
Third Nugget– I know you thought he was your person. And he was your person for the time that he was your person. But he isn’t your person right now. And right now is the time you ACTUALLY have. The reason I know that he isn’t your person right now is because he or she isn’t riding off into the sunset with you. You are here, reading this, trying to get your heart & head back together and they are….well…..who knows. And the truth is, like my cousin Corina says, ‘you loved each other as much and as hard as you both possibly could AT THAT TIME” Your person will stick around. Your person will want to change FOR THEMSELVES & not because you forced them. You won’t be too much or too little for your person. You’ll actually be like Goldilocks and you’ll be the perfect fit.
Mantra, “What I want, wants me too”
Fourth Nugget – What’s the message you need to receive? Often when I thought about my ex, I thought it was about HIM and that it meant I should reach out to him and let him know how I feel. But the message was for me. When I was with him I was carefree, felt secure and relaxed some of the time. And since I wasn’t embodying that in my current life, my amazing brain just kept going to the last place or person it felt like that with and kept saying, “go there, go there” My soul yearned to feel that security & free-spirit energy. So find that thing you’ve been missing on your own or with people who are excited to create this with you. That thing they brought out in you that maybe you have neglected. Sure they woke it up in you, but it was WITHIN you to begin with. Fill in blanks with that very thing your soul yearns for.
Mantra, “It’s so refreshing to feel ________________today” “I AM _______________”
Fifth and Final Nugget For Now – Being partnered with a lover, someone who has been your best friend & confidante, resembles a chemical dependency very closely. People in relationships feel it too. It’s the reason why partners would easily go back to work so their partner could go back to school, or stay with the kids if one of them gets their dream job. They are sacrificing something, but they don’t seem crazy because they are in a relationship. But that chemical bond is there. So when you break up, you actually go through a withdrawal EVEN if you are the one who did the breaking up, EVEN if you know this is what’s best for you. So don’t beat yourself up for still having them on your brain. But be good to yourself and don’t let it mean you have to reach out. Then again, when I drank I needed to have every drink I had until I couldn’t take it anymore and then I was ready for some healing. So maybe you do need to reach out a few more times or spend some more time with them that goes nowhere until you’re ready for healing. No judgement. I’ve been there.
Just know it’s similar to an addiction and you aren’t crazy.
I know this isn’t your typical “Get clear, don’t call him, delete him on Facebook” support because those things you might have heard. And honestly, even after I did all the things they told me to do, my heart still ached. If you are really having a hard time and ready to move forward, sign up for a complimentary session to find how we can personalize this process just for you at www.tinyurl.com/lovebreakthrough. So you don’t have to suffer or keep going through this roller coaster ride of emotions. But even better than that – my breakup was what catapulted my business and love life! Receiving the kind of support you would get from us helped me look into my soul far deeper than I ever have. Some of us will go to the depths for success in business, career, family or love. My journey was love. Maybe yours is too.