Jane Tsilova, Matchmaker and Dating Coach
February 28, 2015

It has been 8 dinner dates, 3 months, 1 weekend get-away, an introduction to the best friend and a passive, “so I was telling my mom about you” comment that makes you go…Now what? What are we? When does casual dating end and exclusivity begin?


If you’re unclear about when and how to have “the talk” you are not alone! The truth is there is no definitive formula, no scientific method or step by step guide to determining the moment or approach to “the talk.”


However, what’s known is: Getting caught up in the windstorm of casual purposeless dating is effortless and EASY! So go ahead and give yourself a break! We have all experienced the captivation of ‘the hookup” and/or “we are talking” epidemic with intentions of exclusivity. With all conviction, the mystery of casual dating is both exciting and frustrating! It keeps us on edge and insatiably intoxicates us to attract our next fix. Unfortunately, by now you have lost sight of your intentions and question “what are we?”


Rules to end purposeless dating:


  1. Get clear about your dating goals.

If your goal is to be in an exclusive relationship, own it!

  1. Be confident when presenting your desire.

If you know what you want and are ready for it then express it!

  1. Accept that you can’t change someone’s mind.

If they tell you that they are not looking for an exclusive relationship, believe them!

  1. Know when to walk away.

If you are not on the same page then close the book and move on!

  1. Take inventory of your progress and be consistent.

If you want a committed relationship don’t date a player!