Beginning March 2016… 
6-Week Live Online Women’s Coaching 

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Click here to register for live Girl Talk and Cocktails online video presentations with Host Arlene Vasquez and co-Host Jennifer Castaneda covering topics on love, relationships, life after divorce, health and wellness, finances, style and beauty! If you miss it we’ll send you the replay.

Love Coach Jen Brings you 12 Days of Love.
A Mini-Course Based on the
Get REAL, Get Love Program Modules!

FIND LOVE DAY 7-Thoughts of Your Ex….. (video problems but the teachings must go on xoxo). Click on the + to view

I know how you feel, he or she’s running around in your mind and you see no end. Is it really over? Maybe they’ll call? Maybe it will all work out. Maybe if I only…….What happened? How did I/we get here? What are they up to? Do they miss me? are they OK?
You wish it could stop and you could feel like yourself again. You wish things could just “go back to normal” And for the 3.5 seconds that it does stop once in while you feel relief but it comes right back and it starts all over again.
I know. I’ve been there.
As cliché as it sounds this too shall pass (but that’s not going to help you right now, I know)
So what to do? There are many phases after a temporary or permanent breakup. These are TIPS that will help for the OVERWHELM phase.
1. Stop resisting
2. THINK ABOUT THEM—yes, that’s what I said. It’s a mind fuck for your mind that will take the edge off, give you relief.
Think of your mind like a 7-year-old that just had a shit load of sugar, birthday cake and soda and he’s running around like a maniac. The more you try to calm him down or stop him the more he NEEDS to keep jumping around and you are trying so hard to sit him down. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. You’ll just end of feeling frustrated and defeated. So if you can’t beat’em right now…. join’em. The more you try to stop it the more you are actually feeding it.
So think about them, BUT do it on paper. Write everything you are remembering, thinking, daydreaming about, scenario’s you are making up in your mind. WRITE IT DOWN vs repeating your stories to everyone. They will all have feedback and stop your actual flow Journal till you let out a good cry or feel exhausted…. trust me.
3. COME TO TERMS WITH IT”S NORMAL TO THINK OF THEM- even if you are the one who did the breaking up your brain hasn’t caught to the emotional emptiness it feels. It only knows about seeing the same person every day, listening to the same person’s voice often, or having sex with the same person all the time and it needs to assimilate something has changed. It’s like phantom pain. Sure you know it’s no longer here but your subconscious and heart doesn’t know that yet. SO HAVE COMPASSION and tell it when it’s starts getting scared. “It’s Ok, we’re OK” “Right now, we are OK” and do it in a super sweet voice.
4. Stop telling yourself, “Just get over it” or “I should be over it by now” When friends tell you, “you’ll find someone who deserves you” or “don’t worry you’ll get over it” they are well meaning (no one likes to see a great woman suffer but they don’t get it) Even if they have gone through their own heartache or breakup, they most likely truly don’t remember what it feels like to feel stripped of “Your person”. The one person you feel loves you and knows you the most. Just like women who have babies and say it was the WORST pain ever but then they “forget” and are excited to do it again. You’ll get over it when you get over it, not 1-day sooner or 1 day later, promise.
5. DON’T call or contact them……for now. Take it 10 min. at a time if you have to, have a failsafe system. Save them under Don’t Call, or make a commitment to call your coach or a non-judgmental friend before you call them. Whether it was you or them who did the breaking up or if you guys might get back together. THIS is the best time to ASSESS where YOU are with what’s going on. Because the truth is this started a long time before, you might have been unhappy or happy but unaware way before this happened. If you have children, let conversations stay about the children UNTIL YOU know where YOU stand regardless of his roadmap…. just for right now.
EVEN more cliché sister, Take it 1 day at a time. Even 1 moment at a time. I love you.

Day 9 Coming Soon!

Day 10 Coming Soon!
Day 11 Coming Soon!
Day 12 Coming Soon!

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5 Love Languages


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