Here’s the easy way to get someone to like you for you.
By Arlene Vasquez for DOWNTOWN Magazine June 2014 Edition
There are so many misconceptions about dating, especially with the changes in the dating landscape in recent years. New singles are turning to online dating and matchmaking because their time is limited. But when it comes to actual dates, some are at a loss about how to conduct themselves.
So many people who are newly single ask if they are being ‘fake’ by putting their best foot forward on a first date. They say, “This isn’t necessarily how I always act, I want someone to like me for me.” They’re told to look their best and be on their best behavior but it feels fake. Well don’t worry, this is still you on your best behavior!
In the case of dating and first impressions, common courtesy and good manners will never go out of style. There are other misconceptions about dating that are worth mentioning…
Its 2014, do men still pay? The answer is, if a women decides to ask out a guy, then she should offer to pay. I’m not a fan of women asking men out but there are some who are determined to do so. Otherwise, yes, men still pay especially on a first date. So women, just say ‘thank you’ and don’t offer to pay or make-believe you are about to pull out the credit card because men know you are faking it. However, if you insist be prepared to pay, but know that most men who allow you to pay are probably not that interested and are happy not to have to make the investment.
How much is too much information on a first date? Dark and mysterious or blithering babbler…find a middle ground that does not include talking about your ex, complaining about your health, going over chapter and verse about who you are, what you do and why. This applies to both disclosing your personal details and being mindful of the questions you ask your date. Remember, you’re both strangers and should be respectful of each other’s privacy.
Who makes the first move after a date? It is perfectly okay for women to text her date to thank him, especially if they had a great time. Nevertheless, men naturally want to do the chasing and if a women continues to contact him he may lose interest. Conversely, after a thank you, if you don’t hear back, let it go.
Is chivalry in or out? Most definitely and unequivocally in! Women still want men to open doors and flowers and chocolate still go a long way towards impressing a women regardless of her age. And gentlemen here’s a tip: It’s especially exciting for women to get flowers at the office to show off to their co-workers.
Do men care about a woman’s manners? Yes, elegant and well-mannered women are more likely to get the invite to a business dinner or to meet the parents and friends. Tacky and vulgar behavior in women can set the tone for how a man will treat them going forward.
Despite our evolution as a fast-paced society, when it comes to dating, some things remain constant—be your best authentic self, and mind your manners!