Since I am a dating coach, matchmaker, profile writer for dating apps, and a single person, sometimes the waters get muddy between professional and personal.
You might think I have all the answers in the dating game, but when I take off my professional hat, I am just as vulnerable and subject to everything I teach my clients.
Let me share some of them with you:
- I get hurt just like the next person.
- My goal is to live in the present, but it’s hard not to have expectations when you meet someone you like.
- It is a strong word, but I “hate” rotational dating. When I meet someone I click with; I only want to be with that one person.
- It hurts when I bond with someone to know that they are dating others. While I know my value and worth, it still makes me feel inadequate.
- I am selective, picky, choosy; you choose the adjective. It helps me focus on what I want versus just dating aimlessly. My time is valuable, and I don’t need or want to “just go out” on dates.
- I don’t play games. Unlike many who suggest playing hard to get is the thing to do, I don’t play. I’m honest and vulnerable and have learned not to give the farm away too quickly. I don’t believe people should play games, ever. Life is too short; you want to go out, don’t put it off. What is the point of denying yourself a fun experience? (At my age, who knows how much longer is ahead of me?)
- I look at every interaction, good or bad, as an opportunity to learn something wonderful. What feelings came up, what were some triggers for me, and what filled my heart with happiness?
- I have a video chat with every person before we meet in person. If there is no connection, I typically won’t meet them IRL (and yes, I have broken this rule, too)
- I call a friend or two before and after each date to tell them I am home safely.
- Perspective is vital. Dating is about getting to know someone to decide if you want to continue dating them, and it’s not planning a life with them. Sometimes I have imagined the dress and cake and decorations. (after all, I am an American girl raised during the Disney era.)
My aim in sharing all of this information about myself is so you know that you’re not alone. Many singles can relate. I also continue to learn with every romantic interaction something about myself, what works, and doesn’t work. I know that every person who is not the one brings me closer to the one who is.
I’m Lori Mendelsohn, a dating coach, dating app profile writer, and matchmaker, working with matchmaking clients in the Milwaukee area. You may reach me at 414-914-5715. Click the link to schedule a call at your convenience or email lori@avconnexions.com.
